Sex Lines and Love Eggs
By Professor Richard Dixon Clark posted: 1999-02-27
This week Reg explores the Hows and the Wheres of SEX LINES and LOVE EGGS!
No, not the seedy 0898 'Cover my Chocolate in Cream' type lines or those 'Housewife's 'Two soaps on a rope',
for that internal cleaning and freshening while you shop!
This refers to those massive cables that criss-cross the mountain with pumping pods, titillation tubs, oral ovals, copulation capsules, gonad gondolas, buggery bubbles hanging from them! Yes the Verdon, Viselle etc, call them what you want, but at some time or other, we've all had an urge to join The Pylon-High Club.
First the How's.
I have no doubt that if it is your first season, you were not thinking about easy of access for in-bubble-action when you chose your two tone All-in-one
(If you did choose an All-in-one you obviously weren't thinking at all!). Boarders have always had the benefit of loose fitting baggy pants, easy to get down without having to remove your jacket. Shoulder straps are becoming a thing of the past, and this season most makes of ski pants have a zip on/off braces facility so you can avoid the complete strip.
I have been assured by those ladies who admitted to being experienced, that try as you might, unless you have full length leg zips one boot is going to have to come off, so one leg can be freed from all trouser restrictions.
This will depend on design of bubble and personnel choice!
For the smaller face-to-face bubble, such as those up from Le Praz or the Chenus, the Turkish Toilet position is the old favourite, (He sits and she reverses on and bounces). This will involve removal of one boot and the trousers to allow the appropriate freedom of leg movement.
In the stand-up bubble, (Mont Valon, or La Tania) there is a bar specially provided for the lucky lady to cling to while being taken roughly from behind. No wonder the Mount Valon bubble is called the Chalet girls favourite!
The Verdon, Visselle and Par du Lac have plenty of room for experimentation. So let's hear about your 'Lifts of lust'!
3) Top tips
Get prepared in the queue.
The colder the day the better, so the windows steam up as quickly as possible.
Watch out for people coming down on the opposite side.
Don't get seen by one of your punters. (A couple was seen, reported, sacked, then appeared in the British press. No, I'm not joking!)
Finish and dress before reaching the top.
Walk out of the bubble as if nothing has happened. Or pretend you've got sunburn.
ALWAYS USE PROTECTION.
4) Famous Five
5) Bride Les Bains (Half an hour through the trees, but watch out for the two mid-stations. Leave time to get home as it takes you up to Meribel)
4) Either lift up from Le Praz. (Long, quiet, in the trees, mists up quickly, but a little small for manoeuvres.)
3) La Tania (Quiet, picturesque, the built in sex bar, but not one of the longest)
2) The Chalet Girls Favorite Mount Valont (Stunning view, sex bar, good length, but very visible.)
1) The Saullire Telepherique (The ultimate challenge, enough room for an orgy, your own chauffeur, all sorts of bars to swing from, but it is one of the quickest lifts in the Alps.)