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Issue 79

With only 3 transfer days before the end of most people seasons it’s clearly time for the blue ribbon event of seasonnaire races with the 3 valley rally. Where young and old can go head to head while being force to drink some clearly dubious alcohol. After last years Scott Dunn vs Physios confrontation it was slightly disappointing to see the chief protagonists Sara(SD) and Sian(Physio) on the same team. With that in mind the question was who could give these old(er) ladies a run for their money. Could a team lead by a giant orange mouse keep them honest or would the ageing rodent succumb to heat exhaustion? Could the (relative) youngsters of Team Welsa make a difference?

By the first checkpoint it was clear that the status quo was in check. Although incredibly close Lumb’s pussys, with a combined age well into the 100’s, were at the front of the pack. Did they use a vehicle? If they did then Judge Jimbo didn’t see them.

It should be noted that all but one team managed to decipher the tricky first clue “go down 200m to the bottom of the 3 Vallees”. Scott Dunn’s Bananaraaama went all the way down to Le Praz (looking for the actual bottom of the 3 valleys) and didn’t even make it to 1650…

At the top of the 2 Lac chair Claudia was waiting at the second checkpoint and by the look of the photos this was a “girls rule” checkpoint. As guys had to remove their boxer shorts and place them on the outside of the ski suits while having a drink of garlic vodka (Thanks Aaron). At this point it was still very close with the OAPs only 5 minutes in the lead.

The journey to, and the forfeits at, checkpoint 3 was where it all fell apart for many teams. When they turned up they were greeted by birds eyes chilli tequila, a crash course in snow skating followed by the pièce de résistance a cinnabomb challenge. Trying to swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon powder is nearly impossible, as it sucks the moisture out of your mouth, and usually results in powder being spat out, some mild choking with possible wretching while any available liquid/snow being forced into their mouth. Really quite amusing from a spectators point of view. Coming soon to Youtube... This just left the final checkpoint where Jennifer Clare and Jeremy handed out a condom of Chartreuse and Ricard at the top of the Col de la Loze.

If Team Welsa hadn’t displayed unsportsman like behaviour by bursting the Animals banana in CP3 and got a photo of an ESF instructor they might have kept their second place instead being demoted below the Animals to third.

So for another year Sara(SD) takes possesion of the coverted silverwear, we shall see if next year anyone can dethrone her and we shall see what devious schemes I can think of.

Finally a big thanks to the Hotel St Louis, Funky Fox staff, Jimbo, Jeremy, Claudia, Ryan, Tom and all for their help on the checkpoints. Thanks also to the Milk bar for hosting the prize giving. Photos can be found on the website.

The editor

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